Day: September 9, 2009

Events, Uncategorized

Identity and Performance:A Conversation with Local University Students

Cynthia C Harris

Last week, I was invited by Professor Ifeoma Nwankwo of Vanderbilt University to speak to her students during her course, American Studies Workshop: Black Nashville.
 
“This class is part of a new innovative course series called “Music City Perspectives.” Through it, Vanderbilt students will learn from, about, and with the city’s diverse communities, while also honing their academic writing and research skills and contributing to the greater good.  The Fall 2009 course will focus on populations of African descent in the city, particularly African American, Caribbean, and African communities.”

Initially I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say.  I was invited to speak about my experience as a Black Nashvillian.  It is always an interesting exercise to talk about your experience with a particular identity group.  How do I explain being a Black, queer, working class, southern woman in her 30s?  I just am what I am, right?  What would be the best way to break down the culture and politics of those identity groups, but then reassemble them to give the full picture of the experience I am having, and how that experience informs all the work that i do?  How would I feel doing that with/for individuals who may not have a single piece of identity in common with me, yet if they did, would they experience it exactly the way that I do? 

I decided that rather than examine all these intersecting identities alone, then presenting some finished analysis, that I would walk the students through my process.  I wanted to invite them into this conversation that I was having with myself. (giggle) 

I came to class with a few ideas I had been working on, then put my theory on the board and asked for feedback.  We talked about pieces that could be missing from my analysis.  I thought it was important to acknowledge that as soon as we are born, the world responds to us, giving us information about who we are, and then how we are to respond to/with that information.  At our core is this authentic, essential being, but once our identities are layered onto us, we filter who we truly are through that matrix of identity.  The result is our performance.  But what happens if we want to alter that performance or find that it doesn’t fit?  Are we free to alter this performance? Aren’t there incentives to maintain a certain performance at all times.  Perhaps we are more predictable or easily controlled if we do. 

I’d love to return and have follow up conversations.  The course seems ripe with good news.  I’m looking forward to their final projects. 

Creative Writing

The Inspectors

Cynthia C Harris

 This is an excerpt from Phrases of Womanhood.  The section focuses on the absurdity of our body image obsessions.

 Recorded Voice or Audience Read: Before starting your day you must prepare for the world around you.  It is tough out there ladies.  Put on your armor.  Get your daily shield protection.  Find your place

Inspector #1:

It is time to put your faces on and pull it together Ladies.  Ready for inspection in 5, (dancers hurry to put their t-shirts on using the same character descriptions above) counting 5…4…3…2…1

Inspector #2:

Ladies, ladies, ladies, this will never do. 

 Inspector #1

We do not assign these uniforms randomly.  It takes considerable energy to have them perfectly fitted for each and every one of you.  Not to mention that some of you grow out of them or intentionally try to “misplace” them.

Inspector #2

Proper care of these uniforms must be taken to guarantee your appropriate rank is clearly displayed at all times. 

Inspector#1

Please resist the urge to personalize your uniforms.  They are in your care but, ARE NOT to be considered personal property. 

 The Inspectors begin individual inspections.  Making notes on clipboards as they examine each dancer.  They reach “ TOO SMALL”.

 Inspector # 1 (to Inspector # 2)

Inspector what did we cite this one for last time?

 Inspector #2

(Checks chart)  Let me see… ah yes.  We pointed her out for shame and ridicule because her bra size is 32B. (Stares at the dancers chest.)  And by the looks of it, a B- cup may be a bit of an exaggeration.

 Inspector #1:

32 B, (takes a moment to look her over) you are looking a little better today. 

 Inspector #2

Good to see you took our advice and invested in a good push-up bra.

 Inspector #1

Though these little bras are only temporary. 

Inspector #2

And once you take them off, you go back to well…. Nothing.

Inspector #1

I think you should consider simple corrective surgery for this particular deformity.

 Inspector #2

Oh, Absolutely. 

Inspector #1

Saline Implants could take you up to a DD-cup easily.  You really can’t say you’ve made any improvements until you develop a curvature of the spine. 

Inspector#2

It’s simply not feminine to be that flat chested.  You don’t want to go around looking like an adolescent boy, do you?

 Inspector #1

Do you?

Inspector #2: They move on to other dancers until they reach another the woman “TOO OLD”.

(checks chart) Mid to Late 30s.  mmmhhmmm…(making notes on her chart)

 Inspector #1:

mmmhhmmm… (Making notes on her chart)

 Inspector #2:

mmmhhmmm. Inspector #1 is this one married yet?  I don’t see any of that information in her chart here. 

Inspector #1:
(Searches clip board, eyes widen in horror)  NO!

Inspector #1 and Inspector #2 (at the same time):

Oh My!

Inspector #2

Mid to late 30s, and you’re not married yet. 

Inspector #1

Being this old and unmarried really only works for men dear.  It’s just not appropriate for a woman.

 Inspector #2

Start clipping coupons for Cat Food and Ensure, cause Honey, you’re well on your way to spinsterhood. 

(Inspector #1 & Inspector #2 share an annoying laugh together)

Inspector #1

Look Ladies, don’t you want to be beautiful like everybody else?

 Inspector#2

Don’t you want people to like you?

Inspector#1

Don’t you want to partner up with somebody so you can put all the hassles of thinking for yourself on somebody else’s shoulders?

 Inspector# 2

Lord help us all. I’m glad we caught all these errors today.  We can get you all started on a plan that will get you in total bondage I mean bliss in no time.

 Inspector#1

Oh yes absolutely! But how shall we customize for women in such a state of distress?  

(Inspector #1 & Inspector #2 pause to think)

 Inspector#2

If you were between the ages of 8 and 11, we would have the time it takes to thoroughly eat away at your self-esteem. 

Inspector#1

Eating disorders can be good for quick weight loss, but it takes so much time to really make a good eating disorder stick.  And TIME is what we have the least of!

 Inspector #2

It is not enough to be concerned about the way you appear to others.  It must be your first and only thought always.  After all, the way other people perceive you is really all that matters. 

Inspector#1

It is too late and entirely too much work, to slowly change your diet and increase your level of activity (said in a different voice as if imitating and mocking someone). That health nut mumbo jumbo is pure foolishness anyhow.

Inspector#2

Diet pills and Liposuction are the only way to go.  Try a little Laser rejuvenation for your lady friend, if you are really feeling fancy.

Inspector#1

Inspector, do you remember what’s her name?

Inspector#2

No girl, be more specific.

Inspector#1

You know what’s her name with the ….and all the ….

 Inspector#2

Oh yes I remember now, you mean …

Inspector#1

That’s the one.  Ladies, I tell you after her reconstructive surgery, well if she had survived her reconstructive surgery, she would have been drop dead gorgeous.

Inspector#1

I guess in the end she was drop dead gorgeous.

 (Inspector #1 & Inspector #2 share an annoying laugh)

 Inspector#2

Where are all my smiling faces? You all look pitiful!

 Inspector#1

Let’s not make this any harder than it needs to be.  Not that I encourage this, but if you are so dead set on being “HAPPY”, it comes in an assortment of vices now; you can pop it, sniff it, smoke it, shoot it, or drink it.

Inspector #2

Sweethearts, there are a number medications available by prescription, over the counter, or from your local narcotics dealer, that can take all your worries away.  

Inspector#1

Stop trying to paddle upstream.  Just go with the flow, like everybody else.

 Inspector #2

Trust us.  We know what we are telling you. 

Inspector #1

If you take our suggestions, without question, you’ll be just fine. 

 (Inspector #1 & Inspector #2 share their annoying laugh again)

Events

In the Company of Women

Cynthia C Harris

On August 31st, I was delighted by the feeling of welcome when I entered our gathering space.  The room was already set up in a circle of chairs with participants smiling from their seats, offering warm hellos; a welcome contrast to the sight of armed guards and the sound of locking doors behind me. We jumped right into the workshop, which was a variation of the standard Healing Waters House Party.  The workshop was adjusted to accomodate the large groups of attendants, as a typical House Party has a maximum attendance of 15.  We took time in the beginning to breathe together and to bring our good energy and intention into the circle. 

In preparing our group to perform, we played a few important theater based warm up activities.   We  listened to easy Cuban sound of Omara Portuondo as we “Covered the Space.”  We let the music guide our bodies around the room, then after freezing in place we imagined a scene in our heads that the movement inspired. Next we moved “Across the Circle”, powerfully saying our names as we locked eyes with a person across the circle, then moved to take that persons space.  The activities connected easily to our conversation on maintaining a safe space for creative play, highlighting what would be and would not be welcome in our space. 

Soon it was time for reading.  The four main characters of  “Why Won’t She Leave?” were divided into three parts, giving us a total of 12 readers for the performance.  All the other workshop  participants were responsible for reciting the part of  The Chorus.  It was powerful to hear a room full of women reciting the lines…

“She is so pretty and so smart.  She can have any man she wants.  Why Won’t She Leave?”

The reading was awesome.  The actor/participants quickly found the rhythm of the piece and fell effortlessly  into character, ones they’d only been introduced to moments before.  We used a combination of large group processing and mini-sessions, so that  participants could discuss the feelings that came up however they were most comfortable.    We closed with a panel of experts from the group, modelling for the rest of us how we might provide social support for a woman in our life having a story similar to that of  the main character.  Participant feedback from the workshop is listed below.

 For more information about the event and participant feedback, click  here